I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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