Are we in a gay sports bar?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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