I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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