i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
