I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
