I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The uberlube is also flammable
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize