I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize