there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
