i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
