For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
