can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
