just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Randomize
