Your dad touched me again.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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