Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
