Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
