i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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