i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sex in a hospital.. check
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
