i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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