I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
