Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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