No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's blow job season.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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