I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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