I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
