youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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