You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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