I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
