Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
