honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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