i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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