I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have fence marks all over my body
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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