he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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