I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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