you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
