You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
