I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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