wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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