Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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