Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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