yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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