She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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