dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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