JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
