It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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