Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
