why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
