I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
