youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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