He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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