Me. At least after what I've been through.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
