I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize