1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
