if i can run in heels then i can drive
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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