just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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