and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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