Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
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Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
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I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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