he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
