when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
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He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT