if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!