Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17399) Bad night (1271)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash

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  (204): My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash http://tfl.nu/m3vz
  Replies (15) Good night (7711) Bad night (929)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am midnight drunk by noon

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  (773): I am midnight drunk by noon http://tfl.nu/nu2g
  Replies (7) Good night (4578) Bad night (657)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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  (717): do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT http://tfl.nu/ci1u
  Replies (17) Good night (5833) Bad night (1281)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.

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  (515): at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there. http://tfl.nu/x808
  Replies (4) Good night (2666) Bad night (911)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.

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  (214): Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle. http://tfl.nu/7j8g
  Replies (4) Good night (2758) Bad night (1023)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1503) Bad night (1409)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.

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  (225): You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness. http://tfl.nu/h6eg
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (998)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings

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  (845): I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings http://tfl.nu/ny97
  Replies (12) Good night (857) Bad night (995)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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  (814): "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year." http://tfl.nu/a90h
  Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (510)
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  (707): View more from California

  Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.

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  (707): Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point. http://tfl.nu/74cc
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (355)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..

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  (256): my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". .. http://tfl.nu/y01m
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (843)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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  (307): Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged. http://tfl.nu/ec83
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (316)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.

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  (440): My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future. http://tfl.nu/caoj
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (487)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.

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  (908): She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters. http://tfl.nu/dcrj
  Replies (4) Good night (315) Bad night (289)

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