if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.