Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did. http://tfl.nu/mi39
  Replies (6) Good night (3523) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g
  Replies (19) Good night (640) Bad night (5585)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom. http://tfl.nu/ltjp
  Replies (43) Good night (1353) Bad night (9811)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was! http://tfl.nu/nt2c
  Replies (13) Good night (8803) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock" http://tfl.nu/flxw
  Replies (6) Good night (2866) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb
  Replies (24) Good night (5364) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex. http://tfl.nu/gy7w
  Replies (13) Good night (3605) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today http://tfl.nu/jljr
  Replies (4) Good night (2599) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  "Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): "Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general. http://tfl.nu/5855
  Replies (4) Good night (1997) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night? http://tfl.nu/gcf5
  Replies (9) Good night (1693) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right. http://tfl.nu/p298
  Replies (2) Good night (1990) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv. http://tfl.nu/57s8
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (1806)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask?? http://tfl.nu/g9zb
  Replies (18) Good night (1898) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2
  Replies (3) Good night (1532) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately. http://tfl.nu/qs87
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (155)

Randomize