The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
